Oceans Ghost
by Just.Another.Wannabe
Summary: She'd go to the ocean and let it haunt her. Because it was better than ever forgetting. Drabble.


"Mommy, the water's too cold

**A/N:** My first Titanic fic. And I'm really not sure if I like it or not. Tell me if its any good?

And I basically don't own Titanic-well, only the special edition DVD. But you guys know what I mean

"Mommy, the water's too cold."

Rose opened her eyes. The water was cold; she felt it as she dipped her feet into the Atlantic. It was colder than it normally was this time of year-the time of their family vacation.

She sighed. "I've felt the ocean much colder, sweetie. Much colder…"

Every year Rose would just dip her feet into the ocean. She would never bring herself to go all the way in; that would be too much. The tips of her toes were just perfect. She'd close her eyes, breathing deeply as the waves gently crashed against her feet. And then she would remember…

The cold Atlantic washed over her, and she could feel Jack touching her again. She never felt closer to him, as if his disintegrated body were embracing her once again. The wind that surged into her face carried his voice, sweet whispers of "I love you" being replayed in his flawless tone.

When she opened her eyes and looked into the distance, she could swear she saw the ghost of the Titanic sailing on towards its destination. The destination it would never reach. Rose could make out the people standing on the dock, leaning forward trying to glimpse their new lives. She could see Jack standing on the edge with who used to be herself, sweetly holding her, helping her learn how to spread her wings and fly.

And then the most charming memories would fade into nightmares. The wind would blow harder, drowning out her lovers' voice. The happy squeals of children on the beach would be distorted into helpless cries of the thousands of innocent passengers who died. She could make out the ship sinking, her most nightmarish memory coming back to life. Her fellow passengers, who were so hopeful about their futures, were being overcome by the rough waters. And Jack, who had just moments before been holding her so dearly, drifted away into his watery grave. The waves would sneakily gain energy, crashing harder against the shore, striking halfway up her calves. Rose would leap out of the waters with a sudden shriek, causing her husband to become overbearingly concerned. She'd have to excuse herself from the beach and go back to the room, the stony, frozen image of Jack staring at her as she drifted off to sleep.

Her husband understood her withdrawal during these trips-or at least he thought he did. As her children grew, they too learned that these beach trips meant more than a family vacation-it was a gust of her past that could never cease to haunt her.

Her dreams during these vacations were rougher than anyplace else. The boat would sink much quicker. She never found Jack handcuffed for a crime he never committed, so he would then die alone. She would find him, but would then slice off his hand. His last moments would be spent screaming in agony. She was too stupid to jump off the rescue boat when she did. They never got to spend those last few minutes together-the minutes that convinced her how to live her life.

Several times over the years, her husband would suggest not going to the beach for a vacation. Rose wouldn't be surprised if China could hear their voices arguing about it-"How could you even suggest that? We have to go! We need a vacation!" "I'm thinking of _you_! I thought it would help, seeing as the ocean freaks you out too much for you to actually enjoy yourself."

He was right and she knew it. It didn't make sense to keep going back to a place that caused her so much heartache. They could have easily found another vacation spot. But in a twisted way, Rose loved the pain. Well, not so much as that she needed to feel that pain. Because she needed to remember the single most important event that had ever happened in her life. Without the ocean, it was frozen in her memory, frozen like her friends who had frozen to death in the icy waters. These were the friends who she never actually knew, but was connected to through the water. The trouble with things that were frozen was simple; once they found the sun, they would always melt. A frozen memory would fade in the blaze of time. She had to suffer again year after year, for the simple reason that if she didn't hurt for the Titanic, she wouldn't feel anything for it. And not remembering was the worst thing that could ever happen.

So she'd go to the ocean. She'd allow the ghost to haunt her year after year. She'd watch the waves crashing against the shore, like they had crashed at the pier where she boarded and as they tumbled over her body as they almost swallowed her. She'd remember Jack-his sweet voice and soft touch. It was worth the rush of grief that was sure to follow. It was always worth it…

"Nana, the water's too cold."

Rose opened her eyes. Instead of looking at her granddaughter, she fixated her eyes far away from the shore, to the oceans heart. Because it was there that her heart had been for decades.

The wind gushed into her face, her grayed hair danced in the breeze. She could feel Jacks sweet breath, hear his whispers. After a few moments the wind surged faster, painfully. Rose sighed.

"I've felt the ocean much colder, sweetie. Much colder…"


End file.
